How to Touch a Girl

Advice for adolescents: Should you be nervous on the issue then it can be daunting breaking the touch barrier with a girl. The key thing to remember here is that things will only ever be as awkward as you make it- as long as the touch isn’t intrusive, as long as you make it look like it’s not a big deal for you, then it won’t be a big deal for her. 

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com

Steps

1- Are you already acquainted? You can’t just go around touching girls you don’t know! See How to talk to a girl you like for the first time should you not yet have reached this stage.

2- Establish her level of interest by regularly making eye contact. Eye contact is an incredibly powerful tool in enticing interest, however be aware that spending too much time in this phase can make an approach much harder and sometimes quite uncomfortable. Certainly do not make eye contact immediately before touch as this will set a premise to the physical contact and may make her feel uncomfortable. If unsure as to her level of interest, see How to know if a girl likes you.

3- She does not have to have romantic feelings for you before you make physical contact! Physical contact is actually easier to make prior to this as there is less sexual tension and therefore less stigma attached to it. Establishing physical contact early on can actually encourage romantic feelings providing that it is done in the right way.

4- Stay out of the friend zone. Whether on a night out or developing this relationship in college/high school, if the proceedings are not carefully managed, it is far too easy to fall into the ‘friend zone’. Keep conversation fun and flirty (but not sleazy).

5- Be chivalrous. Open doors, offer to carry her bags. Do not make a grand gesture about it as then you’re putting pressure on the situation. 

6- Time to break the touch barrier! Hold out your elbow when walking down the street but don’t make a big deal of it! Holding out your elbow is an unobtrusive way of encouraging contact however should the gesture be missed or ignored, it’s very easy to continue walking and to act like nothing has happened. 

7- Keep it light and friendly. A brief hand on the upper back or shoulder as you’re chatting to other people referring to her, or when making a passing comment to her, providing you are comfortable in doing so, should not receive negative response. 

8- Leading her through a crowd by taking her hand, again, not making a big deal out of it, will show that you care for her. Once you are through the crowd, gently release your grip but not completely. This will allow her to remove her hand if she’d prefer to, or leave it in yours if she’s enjoying the contact. 

9- Some people may recommend removing something from her hair or taking an eyelash off of her cheek but I find this can be a bad idea as it usually requires to first announce that you will be performing such an action. This will make her feel nervous unless she is already very comfortable with your touch.

Tips

Some people simply do not appreciate physical contact. Be respectful of this.

Do not touch the chest, back side, hips or upper leg. This is not appropriate unless you’re already romantically involved. 

If she’s not interested in maintaining contact it doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t like you, she could just be pre-occupied or not a very touchy feely person. However, if she’s pulled away more than once on 2 separate occasions, she most likely would prefer not to be touched by you

Although you may lead her through a crowd by taking her hand, do not grab her arm!

Dance! Dancing is a non-threatening way of establishing contact and in developing a bond. Close dancing will encourage further touching.

Be well kept and clean. Nobody wants to be touched by a dirty person!

Be aware of the social situation. She may not be comfortable holding hands when your or her friends are around. 

Be aware of the cultural acceptance of physical contact. All cultures have varying levels of acceptability of public physical contact.