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How to Find Your Soulmate

How to Find Your Soulmate

  1. Dating is important, but simply being available is paramount! 
  2. Ensure you’re in a non-threatening environment.
  3. Have a careful look at what’s right under your nose.
  4. Take the time to properly get to know yourself. 
  5. Hone your interpersonal skills. 
  6. Appreciate human nature.
  7. Have a think about internet dating. 


The Game is the gospel for men wishing to pick up women. It is THE original mass marketed text and sings home many unspoken truisms. Use with caution, care, and sensitivity towards women’s feelings.
“The Game” by Neil Strauss

How to Find Your Soulmate

Knowing how to find your soulmate is 50% an exercise in searching, and 50% an exercise in being receptive. As you’ve already reading this article, let’s assume that you’re already 50% on your way! Here are some tips about where and how to look.

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com


1- Dating is important, but simply being available is paramount! You’re not going to find the love of you’re your life sat on your sofa! Get out there and be sociable. Rather than reading your book at home, try reading it outside on a park bench? Rather than taking the short-cut to work, casually walk the busier high streets and stop for a coffee? Little changes in your routine such as this greatly affect your chances of meeting new people.

2- Ensure you’re in a non-threatening environment. A club is not the best place to find your soulmate! Instead why not try somewhere less threatening. Somewhere public, somewhere where your approach won’t be perceived as sexually charged, and somewhere where you’re likely to find the sort of person that you’re interested in. Love outdoor pursuits?- Why not join a climbing club? Love sporty women?- Beach volleyball? Want someone deep and thoughtful?- A library? Think outside of the box.  

3- Have a careful look at what’s right under your nose. Gain a little perspective. Rather than just looking out there to the wider world, is there someone already in your life who is irreplaceable? Perhaps they already have feelings for you but they’ve always just been too close to you to gain perspective? 

4- Take the time to properly get to know yourself. How can you expect anyone to get to know you unless you understand yourself?! Spend some time each day thinking about what makes you tick. Why did you do what you just did? What are your underlying motivations? Are you insecure? Are you looking for love because you need someone to take care of you? Finding someone to cater to your insecurities is no foundation from which to build a relationship. You have to be one whole person before you can find a second.

5- Hone your interpersonal skills. See How to be Charming or How to be Charismatic. 

6- Appreciate human nature. People want what they can’t have and are less attracted to things that they can have. Find balance in how open you are with ‘potentials’. Mystery is attractive; not everything needs to be said. 

7- Have a think about internet dating. Internet dating is not only becoming more culturally respectable, but it also has one of the highest success rates with regards to long lasting relationships. Get yourself out there, give it a go, but appreciate the pitfalls; don’t let yourself be put off by minor things (in ‘natural’ dating, we learn about people’s foibles slowly as we get to spend more time with them. With internet dating you tend to find all of this stuff out in the upfront which can be off-putting).


Be open minded! You never know where that special someone will come from!

Perhaps you’re looking too hard. Looking too hard can put people off, or worse, have you shoehorn someone who just isn’t right for you. Perhaps ease off looking for a little while and just remain receptive?


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