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How to Talk to Girls as a Teen Boy

How to Talk to Girls as a Teen Boy

  1. Be confident and fun!
  2. Have good manners.
  3. Do your homework.
  4. Compliment.
  5. Listen!
  6. Pay attention to the words they use.
  7. Concentrate on the body language.
  8. Don’t limit conversation to just one person.
  9. Always leave them wanting more.


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Catherine Blyth has written a series of very well respected books on The Art of Conversation
The Art of Conversation

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How to Talk to Girls as a Teen Boy

Knowing how to talk to girls as a teen boy can seem incredibly challenging. Their approach to life may seem completely alien to yours, not to mention the difficulties of dealing with potential attraction to them. The trick is to remain flexible in your approach and to ‘appear’ relaxed and smiley.

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com


1- Be confident and fun! Whether you are naturally confident or not is not important. Acting confidently is just that- acting! Confident people are much more likeable and easy to get on with. Smile, be forward and open with your body language, and take the initiative. Do not be arrogant, instead be very understated in your approach, people will always first notice the loud and boisterous members of a group but they will quickly tire of them, it is the ones who quietly watch on ‘comfortable in their own skin’ that will generate most intrigue from females.  

2- Have good manners. Open doors and remember your “pleases” and “thank yous”.

3- Do your homework. If you anticipate conversing with particular ladies, ease your nerves by knowing a little about their interests etc so that you will always have conversation topics that they will always want to engage in.

4- Compliment. Offer them a genuine compliment about something they are wearing. Don’t be too forward or personal in your compliment, but having them acknowledge that you’ve noticed them takes the edge off of the situation. This is a non-threatening way of starting a conversation as you can then discuss where they bought it etc.

6- Listen! We have 2 ears and 1 mouth so use them in that proportion. Listening is essential in the art of conversation. Nod, agree and smile. Listen to what they’re saying and reiterate to them, in your own words, important aspects of any point that they are making. This shows that you’re being attentive. Probe further into her response by asking questions. The best thing to do is to ask for her opinion on things. Not only will it encourage the other person to talk, but it will also make them feel more comfortable.

7- Pay attention to the words they use. Do they “feel” or “think” about things i.e. “I feel like my job is good for me” as appose to “I think that my job is good for me”? Are they ’kinaesthetic’ with how they communicate i.e. are they moving their hands a lot to gesture? Adopt your manner of conversation and the way that you ask questions in order to mirror their responses. This will immediately build rapport.

8- Concentrate on the body language. 80% of conversation is non-verbal. Face the person, keep an open posture, gesture gently towards them, touch their elbow in passing (suggests a sign of trust)- physically engage them in your conversation.

9- Don’t limit conversation to just one person. If in a group of guys and girls, don’t just limit conversation to 1 person as it may be considered disconcerting. Try to engage everyone if possible.

10- Always leave them wanting more. Be the first to exit a conversation before it starts to dry up. Pay attention back to your male friends for example.


Don’t panic if you do something stupid, ride with it. Many girls find this kind of thing really cute, especially if you can honestly laugh it off. 

Tease just a little but avoid issues such as how she looks. A bit of teasing makes for good fun and easy flirting. Always have a smile on your face when you do it however.

Don’t bitch. Never bitch! Sure it may be a good way to engage in common ground, but bitching will paint you in negative light. Always keep a positive slant to conversation.

Give them your number, don’t ask for theirs! If, like me, you tend to get a little over excited in these circumstances, give them your number rather than asking for theirs. This will ‘put the ball in their court’, and will stop you from seeming too keen by messaging/calling them too early.

Take a look at ‘How to have a great conversation’ for some further conversational tips.


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