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How to Slow Dance

How to Slow Dance

  1. Pretend to be confident.
  2. Own your invitation.
  3. Know where to place your hands.
  4. Learn you foot work.
  5. Move deliberately.
  6. Take the lead.
  7. It’s good to talk.
  8. Remember your manners.


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How to Slow Dance

Knowing how to slow dance can mean the difference between sweeping the lady of your dreams off of her feet or a lack lustre night out. There are so many different dances that could be learnt, but for simplicity’s sake, here are just a couple that you might want to familiarise yourself with.

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com


1- Pretend to be confident. Confidence isn’t something that we need, instead it’s something that we can act/fake. Confidence is attractive. Put yourself out there and adopt the role of the confident male and you’ll naturally start to feel more confident. Things are only ever as awkward as YOU make it!

2- Own your invitation. When asking a lady to dance, don’t phrase your questioning in the uncertain i.e. “would you maybe like to dance?”, instead, be assertive. Smile and ask “Let’s dance”. Hold out your hand and hold eye contact. A playful grin is hard to resist. You should then guide them to the dance floor, not the other way around.

3- Know where to place your hands. Hand positioning is crucial. Place your right hand on your partner’s left hip side or on his partner’s mid to upper back, and your left hand should gently grasp your partner’s right hand and hold it up at about shoulder-level of the taller partner so that both partners’ arms are bent upward from the elbow. The lady will most likely place her left hand on your right shoulder. If they seem unsure, guide them.

4- Learn you foot work. Face your partner and stand about a foot to half a foot (30 – 15 cm) away from your partner, depending on the level of intimacy you want to create. Standing toe-to-toe is not the best position as you need to give yourself room to move your feet without standing on your partner’s feet. Some couples stand offset; with each person’s right foot inside the other persons pair; some partners may have the woman’s feet to the inside of the man’s.

5- Move deliberately. Movements should be slow and smooth and to the beat of the music. You don’t need to move very much. (Swaying back and forth as you move in a circle is perfectly acceptable.) If you want to change things up slightly lift the foot your weight is not on and slide that foot a little forward, back, or sideways.

6- Take the lead. The man should always lead the woman. You do this by directing with your left hand (the one that’s holding hers). Guide her in the direction that you wish her to go. Lifting the hand slightly up and further to the left should encourage the lady to spin inwards. Lifting your hand up and bring it across your body should encourage your partner to spin the other way. Be sure to loosen your hand grip to allow them to spin! Remember that you’re guiding your partner, not dragging her around the dance floor. If she doesn’t pick up on the cues the first couple of times, don’t make her feel awkward by continuing to force the issue.

7- It’s good to talk. If the music is quiet, then the occasional chatter can stop things becoming too intense. If the music is loud however, trying to talk will most likely result in confusing and makes things awkward.

8- Remember your manners. Exit the situation before she does. Wait until the end of a song when you start to get the idea that she may be becoming distracted, and then thank her for the dance. When doing so, don’t make it seem like she’s done you the biggest favour in the world by dancing with you as this seems needy, instead, be confident in your delivery and take her slightly off-guard. Something along the lines of: “thank you, I’ve very much enjoyed dancing with you.


Take comfort in the fact that they will be just as nervous as you are.

Make lots of eye contact with your partner, as this will make the
relationship stronger and dancing more comfortable.

Try sliding your feet instead of picking them up. This way you are less likely to step on your partners feet.

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