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How to Read Women’s Body Language for Flirting

How to Read Women’s Body Language for Flirting

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  1. Get her attention.
  2. Initiate contact.
  3. Gauge whether their posture is open or closed.
  4. Work out their distance.
  5. Evaluate their head position.
  6. Watch their eyes.
  7. Observe their hand movements.
  8. Watch their feet.

Equipment

“What Every Body Is Saying” is a very entertaining and insightful book written by Joe Navarro teaching you how to read body language.
What Every Body Is Saying

“The Game” by Neil Strauss. The Game is the gospel for men wishing to pick up women. It is THE original mass marketed text and sings home many unspoken truisms. Use with caution, care, and sensitivity towards women’s feelings.
The Game

How to Read Women’s Body Language for Flirting

Knowing how to read women’s body language for flirting can save you from wasting effort from having concentrated it on an uninterested party. Not only will this article provide you with tips on how to read body language, but to also alter yours to seem more attractive and to entice intrigue.

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com

Steps

1- Get her attention.

Depending on the setting this can take many forms, but the key here is moderation. Act confidently but to not be over the top with your attention seeking. Even if you are not a very confident person, you can still ‘act’ confidently. In the first circumstance it is useful if you can get noticed without her/him realising that you are trying to attract her/his attention as, unfortunately, it is base human nature to want what you can’t have. Being slightly mysterious in the initial stages of courtship can go a long way further down the line. Wearing bright colours (“Peacocking”) is a subtle approach to this.

2- Initiate contact.

Once you have her attention, begin initiating eye contact. Eye contact is an incredibly powerful tool in enticing interest, however be aware that spending too much time in this phase can make an approach much harder and sometimes quite uncomfortable. Once you have made eye contact, make an introduction. Introductions ‘out of the blue’ may seem a little alien to most people so if you can be introduced by a friend who knows her/him already, this could be useful. If you are making an introduction ‘from scratch’, be forward and confident. Things will only ever be as uncomfortable as you make it! Providing that you are not sleazy with your approach, smile, and have not prefixed the introduction with eye contact that has been going on for way too long, at the very least the introduction will be politely received (if it’s not then the young lady/gentleman in question is most likely not worth your time). Providing you have followed step 1 and have judged the situation well, conversation should develop. Try and let the young lady talk whilst you carefully listen and observe her body language, as remaining attentive yet still mysterious (i.e. you haven’t divulged your life story un-prompted), paints you in more attractive light.

80% of conversation is non-verbal, so for now, face the person, keep an open posture, gesture gently towards them, touch their elbow in passing (suggests a sign of trust)- physically engaging them in your conversation encourages them to be more open in their body language or at least accentuate any closed body language, making them easier to read.

Flirting is about being forward, fun, but most of all, non-threatening. Smile, maintain eye contact, and avoid small talk. Now for reading their body languages.

3 – Mirror their posture.

Mirroring is the term used to describe the copying of actions. Most people fail to notice mirrored body language however it is by far the best way to determine whether someone is engaged with you. Mirroring is also a useful tool that you can use (subtly mirroring they’re body language in order to encourage the person to empathises with you).

4- Gauge whether their posture is open or closed.

Closed arms or a guarded posture such as having their body angled away from you suggests that the person if putting up a wall for some reason, whereas an open posture, open arms, and the person’s body angle pointing towards you suggests interest and engagement.

5- Work out their distance.

Are they close or are they far away? Do they take a step back when you take a step forward and vice versa? If the person is comfortable in your presence or wishes to get to know you better, they will tend to prefer to be in greater proximity to you. Bear in mind here that different cultures have different appreciations of what level of personal space is appropriate.

6- Evaluate their head position.

A person’s head position will suggest their level of engagement and agreement with you: A lowered head suggests self-doubt or that the person is trying to hide something, a head tilted slightly upwards suggests empathy or sympathy, whereas a tilted head with a smile suggests sexual interest or playful conversation, and a sideways tilted head suggests a challenge or confusion (depending on what the mouth or eyebrows are doing).

7- Watch their eyes.

People who look downwards tend to be shy, timid or trying to hide an emotion. People who avoid eye contact or look slightly to the side are either nervous, distracted or lying, however It could also suggest disinterest or submission. Should the person be looking into your eyes but focusing further behind you, they are most likely not concentration on what you are saying and may be day dreaming about something else. Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes suggest an attempt to understand your point or the situation.

8- Observe their hand movements.

If someone is busy with their hands it suggests slight discomfort or a willingness to exit the conversation. A rested hand posture suggests calm, whereas hands placed upon the hip suggests impatience. Someone playing with their hair could suggest sexual interest, however if they are doing this with raised eyebrows, it suggests that they disagree with you.

9- Watch their feet.

Fidgety feet suggest impatience or discomfort whereas foot contact and pointing of feet in your direction suggests flirting. Feet crossed at the ankles when sitting or leaning suggests that the person is comfortable in that situation.

Tips

Be aware of cultural differences i.e personal space and eye contact. Direct eye contact in some cultures is considered rude.

You need to observe in context i.e. in relation to the situation that the person is in.

Be aware of medical or psychological conditions such as squinting due to poor eye sight, fidgeting due to Attention Deficit Disorder, or lack of eye contact due to possible Asperger’s syndrome.

Changes in body language often provide more clues than the body language itself.

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