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How to Make a Girl Become Obsessed with You

How to Make a Girl Become Obsessed with You

  1. Play hard to get. 
  2. Be well presented. 
  3. Exude confidence.
  4. Develop a good sense of humour. 
  5. Be mysterious.
  6. Stay out of the friend zone. 
  7. If text flirting, ambiguity can be both your friend and foe. 
  8. Spend limited time with her. 
  9. Be chivalrous.
  10. Make her feel special. 


The Game is the gospel for men wishing to pick up women. It is THE original mass marketed text and sings home many unspoken truisms. Use with caution, care, and sensitivity towards women’s feelings.
“The Game” by Neil Strauss

How to Make a Girl Become Obsessed with You

Knowing how to make a girl become obsessed with you is priceless information. An incredibly challenging feat as everyone is different, but here are some general tips on how to approach the situation.

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com


1- Play hard to get. Although I may be skipping a few steps here, it’s important to note that the difference between getting a girl to love you and become obsessed with you is about tugging on the right psychological strings. Obsession is born out of desire to have what you cannot. Playing hard to get will make you the focal point of her conscious existence!

2- Be well presented. Are you ‘well kept’? Are you overly niching possible partners due to adopting a particular style that may be unattractive to certain groups of women? Do you smell good? Are your clothes ironed? Are you in shape? Although correctly answering to all of these questions will make you more attractive to females, having made an effort towards this end will also naturally fill you with more confidence- something that is key to attraction.

3- Exude confidence. Whether you are naturally confident or not is irrelevant. Acting confidently is just that- acting! Confident people are much more likeable and easy to get on with. Smile, be forward and open with your body language, and take the initiative. 

4- Develop a good sense of humour. Having a good sense of humour doesn’t necessarily mean being the person who has to crack all the jokes all of the time. You don’t have to be a comedian as this is a skill that takes years to develop. Instead, take a light hearted view on things, don’t be too serious (but don’t be a clown either), don’t take everything that is said to heart, and think twice before negatively reacting to something or someone. Be playful and fun. Adopt a frame of mind where you see the positive in everything and a good sense of humour will naturally develop.

5- Be mysterious. Being slightly mysterious in the initial stages of courtship can go a long way further down the line. Be elusive and allow her to do most of the talking. Saying this however, don’t be weird about it!

6- Stay out of the friend zone. Whether on a night out or developing this relationship in college, if the proceedings are not carefully managed, it is far too easy to fall into the ‘friend zone’. Keep conversation fun and flirty (but not sleazy), and make subtle yet un-invasive contact whenever possible. Slight moments of discomfort and pauses in conversation are good as they keep the nature of the conversation flirtatious. In these brief moments, do not make it look like you’re trying to think of conversation, instead fill them with an action such as ordering drinks, or even making a compliment. Test the water by starting to throw out low-level “bait” i.e. subtle jokes that hint at sexual interest. A good baiting statement should be un-intrusive, playful, and fairly ambiguous. She/he will hopefully reciprocate with the same kind of “Baiting” so pay attention to what she/he says! Make it clear through a cheeky smile (or similar) that you have understood any subtle messages of this type that she/he may have sent you. Wait for her/him to continue conversation. 

Paying a compliment may help you to stay out of the friend zone. Something fairly simple and not too intrusive such as eyes, hair, lips or smile, are reasonably safe things to compliment on. Deliver the compliment in a softer, lower tone than usual and it will be better received.

7- If text flirting, ambiguity can be both your friend and foe. With the absence of readable body language, stand-alone texts can often be misinterpreted. To avoid confusion, double read every text before you send it and approach the message from a different angle to ensure that the recipient will understand your intended message. Leaving a text deliberately unclear (perhaps very subtle innuendo) can actually engage the recipient in thought about you, contemplating whether a hidden message was intended or not.

8- Spend limited time with her. This is easier said than done. You want to spend time with her doing something that she enjoys doing to make her feel comfortable, but do not seem to be smothering. If anything, be the opposite. She needs to be the one requesting to spend time with you. Your presence should be a treat for her. 

9- Be chivalrous: Open doors, stand as she enters a room, offer to carry her bags, offer her your jacket if she’s cold, remember your manners, avoid overly cursing, listen to her when she talks!

10- Make her feel special. Small gestures can go a long way yet should avoid being ‘creepy’. Find small, individual ways to let her know you like her. Don’t seek acknowledgement for any gestures as this will cause the situation to become stuffy. Simple but meaningful compliments delicately delivered will always pleasantly catch her by surprise- again do not over-do it. 


Although communication is key to relationships, some things are best left unspoken i.e. the mystery and allure of flirting with someone should not be ruined by raising the issue verbally. 

Obsession is an incredibly painful thing- be sensitive to people’s feelings.  


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