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How to Have Sex Appeal

How to Have Sex Appeal

  1. Love yourself. 
  2. Exude confidence.
  3. Develop a good sense of humour. 
  4. Achieve balance in flirting.  
  5. Be a man.
  6. Don’t be predictable and don’t always be there!
  7. Play hard to get.


The Game is the gospel for men wishing to pick up women. It is THE original mass marketed text and sings home many unspoken truisms. Use with caution, care, and sensitivity towards women’s feelings.
“The Game” by Neil Strauss

How to Have Sex Appeal

Knowing how to have sex appeal can provide you with the confidence that you need to actually have it! Confidence is key, an ‘understated confidence’ even more so. Here is some advice on how to achieve this naturally. 

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com


1- Love yourself. As hippie as that sounds, what I really mean is start by assessing your image. Are you ‘well kept’? Are you overly niching possible partners due to adopting a particular style that may be unattractive to certain groups of women? Do you smell good? Are your clothes ironed? Are you in shape? Although correctly answering to all of these questions will not give you more sex appeal, having made an effort towards this end will also naturally fill you with more confidence- something that is key to attraction.

2- Exude confidence. Whether you are naturally confident or not is irrelevant. Acting confidently is just that- acting! Confident people are much more likeable and easy to get on with. Smile, be forward and open with your body language, and take the initiative. Do not be arrogant, instead be very understated in your approach, people will always first notice the loud and boisterous members of a group but they will quickly tire of them, it is the ones who quietly watch on ‘comfortable in their own skin’ that will generate most intrigue from females.  

3- Develop a good sense of humour. You don’t want to be the person always cracking the jokes, but you need to have a fun edge to you- be the guy that everyone listens to the second that you open your mouth- to do this, tell few jokes or funny comments, but make sure that they’re golden when you do. You don’t have to be a comedian as this is a skill that takes years to develop. Instead, take a light hearted view on things, don’t be too serious (but don’t be a clown either), don’t take everything that is said to heart, and think twice before negatively reacting to something or someone. Be playful and fun yet relaxed and calm. Adopt a frame of mind where you see the positive in everything and a good sense of humour will naturally develop.

4- Achieve balance in flirting.  Once you have someone’s attention, begin initiating eye contact. Eye contact is an incredibly powerful tool in enticing interest. Hold eye contact just once, and then let them make the approach, or if you have to make the approach, do it naturally as if it’s not an issue to you in the slightest. Introductions ‘out of the blue’ may seem a little alien to most people so if you can be introduced by a friend who knows her/him already, this could be useful. If you are making an introduction ‘from scratch’, be forward and confident “Hi, I’m___, what’s your name?”. Things will only ever be as uncomfortable as you make it! Providing that you are not sleazy with your approach, smile, and have not prefixed the introduction with eye contact that has been going on for way too long, at the very least the introduction will be politely received (if it’s not then the young lady in question is most likely not worth your time). Providing you have judged the situation well, conversation should develop. Try and let the young lady talk whilst you carefully listen, as remaining attentive yet still mysterious (i.e. you haven’t divulged your life story un-prompted), paints you in more mystical light. Raise her curiosity by listening more than talking. When you do speak, be assertive, clear, and do not ‘ummmmm’. Have her waiting on your every word. 

80% of conversation is non-verbal. Face the person, keep an open posture, gesture gently towards them, touch their elbow in passing (suggests a sign of trust)- physically engage them in your conversation.

Flirting is about being forward, fun, but most of all, non-threatening. Smile, maintain eye contact, and avoid small talk.

5- Be a man. Take control of the situation, although you do not want to be seen as being forceful, say what the pair of you will be doing rather than asking whether she wants to do it!

6- Don’t be predictable and don’t always be there! Your presence should be valued and a treat, not expected or the norm!

7- Play hard to get. Although I’m not a big fan of this approach, you have to play the game slightly to win it. Whatever you do however, do not let it be obvious that you’ve adopted this tactic.


Although you should be mysterious in your feeling and shouldn’t lay it all out on the online (it’s not attractive), also be sure to not lead people on- it’s unfair. 

Give them your number, don’t ask for theirs! If, like me, you tend to get a little over excited in these circumstances, give them your number rather than asking for theirs. This will ‘put the ball in their court’, and will stop you from seeming too keen by messaging/calling them too early.


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