How to go down on someone
Knowing how to go down on someone well can result in incredibly rewarding sexual experiences for both you and your partner. Although everyone is different and so you should be ‘listening’ to what your partner’s body is telling you, there are some general guidelines which are helpful to everyone. It’s not so much what you do, more how you go about doing it. As sex is much more psychological for women, the mechanics are much less critical then traditional articles of this nature will have you believe. Instead, it’s the psychological aspects of foreplay and sex which are most important to women.
1- Pick your moment. Have an understanding of how your partner works and when she might be more receptive to this kind of activity. If she’s quite self-conscious for example, it’s best to go down on her only after she’s recently showered or if her inhibitions have dropped slightly (tipsy perhaps)- although you might be happy to go down on her when she’s not ‘as fresh’ as she could be, she’s not going to enjoy it when she’s feeling self-conscious.
2- Appreciate that it’s 60% psychological and only 40% physical. It will most likely be the other way around for you, but for your partner, how much she will get out of sexual encounters with you will depend on her frame of mind. Never have her do anything that she doesn’t feel comfortable with if you want her to enjoy it- there is more than one way to skin a cat rather than going at it with a knife from the word go; be subtle and patient with your approaches. Set the scene and have her focused only on the moment.
3- Don’t rush things. It’s the journey that counts, not the destination. Although yes, it’s great if she climaxes, don’t rush to get her there. The tortoise will always win the race in this regards and if you try and rush the situation you will most likely just end up with a sore and exhausted jaw and tongue.
4- Gauge the pressure, gauge the mood. Creep towards the ‘core’ teasingly as anticipation is an incredible aphrodisiac. Once you’re there (her clitoris, or for those who are completely clueless, the tiny little nubbin tucked away 1/3 of the way down from the top of her ‘vaginal crease’), start with light pressure (even just your exhaled breath down there will be felt), with just the tip of your tongue. Begin to vary things both with how much contact (from the tip of your tongue to the whole of your tongue and mouth as if you were ‘making out’ with her down there), how much pressure, and what type of motion (e.g. circular, side to side, random) and gauge her reaction. What she likes at that particular time will change from previous times depending on circumstance. Once you have something that’s working, don’t over kill it, instead, sporadically revisit this ‘setting’ more and more as things progress.
5- Finger or no finger? My current girlfriend doesn’t enjoy being vaginally penetrated at the same time as me going down on her, but all of my previous ones did. Pay attention to her body and respond accordingly- you do not know best for her no matter how much your past lovers enjoyed whatever it is that you’re trying to impose on your new lady! If she does enjoy it, unless told otherwise, only ever use one finger and keep a steady, medium pace, being careful not to scratch her.
6- If she’s close, don’t stop, but don’t speed up either! This is one of the greatest mistakes men make in the bedroom; when their partner is enjoying herself, we, as men, tend to become increasingly excited and pick up the pace, forgetting the fact that it was the initial pace that she was enjoying, not this quickened pace. Fight the urge to go crazy just because she is, and keep steady.
7- If she pushes you away, stop! Once she’s finished, some ladies find the sensation too intense and may push you away. ‘Doing as you’re told’ at this point will gain trust and make her more susceptible to ‘opening up’ to you in the future.
Mix things up occasionally. Nibbling her clitoris gently, lightly sucking on it, rubbing it with your fingers, using a long lick to cheekily lick her bottom etc. are all different little things that you can do to break the usual flow of things. Make sure you have a fairly decent appreciation of how she will most likely react beforehand however!
Be courteous and subtly wipe your face once you’re finished before kissing her; you wouldn’t like the opposite done to you!