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How to Escape the Friend Zone

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How to Escape the Friend Zone

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  1. Break the mould.
  2. Be confident and fun!
  3. Don’t appear that you want to be in a relationship.
  4. Chill out!
  5. Change the nature of the conversation and the way you deliver it.
  6. When on a date, keep conversation fun and flirtatious, and look for moments when contact could be considered appropriate.

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“The Game” by Neil Strauss

The Game is the gospel for men wishing to pick up women. It is THE original mass marketed text and sings home many unspoken truisms. Use with caution, care, and sensitivity towards women’s feelings.

How to Escape the Friend Zone

Getting stuck in the friend zone is incredibly frustrating, making knowing how to escape the friend zone absolutely essential. If you’ve been a ‘nice guy’ there’s a good chance that we may now be viewed as too good a friend or worse, a brother. Here are some tips to help you escape.

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com

Steps

1- Break the mould.

This can be the hardest thing to do in a controlled manner as it’s far too easy to go over the top and ruin your relationship entirely. Rather than becoming selfish, just be a little more selfless i.e. find balance by not doing absolutely everything for them all of the time. They’ll soon appreciate what you do for them more wants to allow a little distance.

2- Be confident and fun!

Whether you are naturally confident or not is irrelevant. Acting confidently is just that- acting! Smile, be forward and open with your body language, and take the initiative. Do not be arrogant, instead be very understated in your approach, people will always first notice the loud and boisterous members of a group but they will quickly tire of them, it is the ones who quietly watch on ‘comfortable in their own skin’ that will generate most intrigue from females.

3- Don’t appear that you want to be in a relationship.

Playing hard to get is something that I always hesitate to advocate, however people do always want what they can’t have, or are less attracted to things that they can have.

4- Chill out! If you’re friends with this person then you’re going to see them lots so there’s no need to rush things.

Play the long game in order for her to change her perceptions about you.

5- Change the nature of the conversation and the way you deliver it.

Keep conversation fun and flirty (but not sleazy), and make subtle yet un-invasive contact whenever possible. Slight moments of discomfort and pauses in conversation are good as they keep the nature of the conversation flirtatious. In these brief moments, do not make it look like you’re trying to think of conversation, instead fill them with an action such as ordering drinks, or even making a compliment. Test the water by starting to throw out low-level “bait” i.e. subtle jokes that hint at sexual interest. A good baiting statement should be un-intrusive, playful, and fairly ambiguous. She will hopefully reciprocate with the same kind of “Baiting” so pay attention to what she says! Make it clear through a cheeky smile (or similar) that you have understood any subtle messages of this type that she may have sent you. Wait for her to continue conversation.

6- When on a date, keep conversation fun and flirtatious, and look for moments when contact could be considered appropriate.

Being tactile with a girl that you wish to become more familiar with will begin to build the bridge towards a romantic relationship. Be sure with the contact that you are making. Things will only ever be as uncomfortable as you make them so touch with confidence and as if it’s no big deal.

Tips

Although communication is key to relationships, some things are best left unspoken i.e. the mystery and allure of flirting with someone should not be ruined by raising the issue verbally.

If you have fallen into the friends zone, you may be less inclined to act on feelings that you have towards them (for fear of ‘losing a friend’) and this will certainly cloud your judgement on whether they like you back. I honestly feel that it is better to act on your feeling if unsure. If you act but they do not reciprocate these romantic feelings towards you, a good friend will always get over this in comparatively little time and your friendship will be much less damaged than what it would have been if you had simply swept all of these feelings under the carpet.

If they deny you after you’ve followed all of these steps, you will have to put some distance between you just for a while in order to give yourself the chance to develop feeling for someone else. You’re not giving them an ultimatum (which they may accuse you of doing), instead you’re just allowing yourself a little time to get over them before being friends again.

Tease just a little but avoid issues such as how she looks. A bit of teasing makes for good fun and easy flirting. Always have a smile on your face when you do it however.

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