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How to Call or Text a Girl

How to Call or Text a Girl

  1. Get her number.
  2. Once you get her number, don’t text straight away!
  3. The first text.
  4. Early texting should be small talk, although keep it interesting.
  5. Exit a conversation before it starts to dry up.
  6. Calling.


“The Game” by Neil Strauss

The Game is the gospel for men wishing to pick up women. It is THE original mass marketed text and sings home many unspoken truisms. Use with caution, care, and sensitivity towards women’s feelings.

Knowing how to call or text a girl can make things one hell of a lot easier during the courtship stages of a relationship. Here are a few key pointers to how to go about it.


1- Get her number. Yup, unfortunately the first part of this process is also the hardest! Unfortunately you need to have at the very least introduced yourself to this girl before you can start texting her, otherwise it’s just considered too forward, or even weird, and it will not be received well. Have a friend who knows her introduce you. Be patient, over the next couple of weeks, be sure to stop and talk to her whenever you see her. Acting confidently is just that- Acting! Whether you are naturally confident or not isn’t the most important issue, what is important however, is appearing confident. If you are having to ‘act’ however, be sure not to be over the top as this will put off many people. ‘Quietly confident’ is a nice balance- smile, hold eye contact, move assertively, do not second guess what you say as you say it, but take time over your words, this will naturally hold their attention. Things will only ever be as uncomfortable as you make it! Once you are on smiling and small talk stage with her, confidently ask for her number. If she gives it to you, it will mean she is happy to text you. Do not get it from her friend. Although this might seem like an easy shortcut to take, it will most likely not result in as positive a result.

2- Once you get her number, don’t text straight away! Give it a couple of days and hopefully she’ll be wondering whether you’re going to message her or not. Don’t wait too long however as she’ll loose interest. There is a balance in playing hard to get.

3- The first text. Unless your planning on being deliberately mysterious, be sure to very briefly re-introduce yourself when you first text. Pick a time to text her when you know she’s not going to be at school/at work. Be casual, be fun, don’t write an essay, but most importantly, don’t confess your love for her! Perhaps mention that you saw her today and really liked her dress. A text such as this should be nonchalant in passing- don’t be creepy! Something light and fun is good. Rather than writing a question outright, try and make an unobtrusive statement that may encourage a response.

4- Early texting should be small talk, although keep it interesting. People tend only to small talk about the weather when social etiquette obliges them to fill a silence with speech. Avoid mundane topics, but still feel free to ask her how her day went as this will often open a whole can of worms of conversation.

5- Exit a conversation before it starts to dry up. This way you will seem like you’re not trying to force conversation and are fairly relaxed about the whole situation.

6- Calling. With regards to calling, unless you’re already very well acquainted, very little telephone courtship occurs these days. Calling, in general, is the best way to ask the girl out on a date for the first time after you’ve been texting for a while, as it shows confidence and charisma. Write down what you want to ask and deliver it as smoothly as possible.


Text messages can very often be misread. Re-read everything before you send a text.

Do not text when horny! This is the quickest way to burn bridges!

When calling, smile. It is very easy to tell, even over the phone, if someone is smiling when they are talking to you.

A text to invite her over to your house at night to watch a film etc may be considered as a booty call, so be prepared to receive a negative response.

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