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How to Act Around Girls

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How to Act Around Girls

  1. Be confident and fun!

  2. Have good manners

  3. Do your homework

  4. Compliment

  5. Identify what they’re passionate about

  6. Listen!

  7. Language

  8. Body language

  9. Don’t limit conversation to just 1 person

  10. Always leave them wanting more


“The Game” by Neil Strauss

The Game is the gospel for men wishing to pick up women. It is THE original mass marketed text and sings home many unspoken truisms. Use with caution, care, and sensitivity towards women’s feelings.

Catherine Blyth has written a series of very well respected books on

The Art of Conversation

Learn how to instantly gain rapport with new people that you meet. Neuro-linguisic programming is a skill that all socialisers should learn and I couldn’t recommend any texts on the matter more highly.

Neuro-linguistic Programming For Dummies

How to Act Around Girls

It may seem like only the smoothest of guys know how to act around girls, but it’s really not that hard. In general, it’s best to just behave exactly the same as if you were hanging out with the guys, only toning down crass and over boisterous behaviour. Most of the guys who seem really comfortable around girls are literally just not that bothered about their presence i.e. it’s not a big deal to them! Remember, things are only ever as awkward as you make it!

Photo Credit: Designlazy.com


1 Be confident and fun!

Whether you are naturally confident or not is irrelevant. Acting confidently is just that- acting! Confident people are much more likeable and easy to get on with. Smile, be forward and open with your body language, and take the initiative. Do not be arrogant, instead be very understated in your approach, people will always first notice the loud and boisterous members of a group but they will quickly tire of them, it is the ones who quietly watch on ‘comfortable in their own skin’ that will generate most intrigue from females.

2 Have good manners

Open doors and remember your “pleases” and “thank yous”.

3- Do your homework.

If you anticipate conversing with particular ladies, ease your nerves by knowing a little about their interests etc so that you will always have conversation topics that they will always want to engage in.

4- Compliment

Offer them a genuine compliment about something they are wearing. Don’t be too forward or personal in your compliment, but having them acknowledge that you’ve noticed them takes the edge off of the situation. This is a non-threatening way of starting a conversation as you can then discuss where they bought it etc.

5- Identify what they’re passionate about.

Identifying what a person feels passionate about and encouraging them to discuss it will help you engage this person on a deeper, more emotional level.

6- Listen!

We have 2 ears and 1 mouth so use them in that proportion. Listening is essential in the art of conversation. Nod, agree and smile. Listen to what they’re saying and reiterate to them, in your own words, important aspects of any point that they are making. This shows that you’re being attentive. Probe further into her response by asking questions. The best thing to do is to ask for her opinion on things. Not only will it encourage the other person to talk, but it will also make them feel more comfortable.

7- Language

Pay attention to the words they use. Do they “feel” or “think” about things i.e. “I feel like my job is good for me” as appose to “I think that my job is good for me”? Are they ’kinaesthetic’ with how they communicate i.e. are they moving their hands a lot to gesture? Adopt your manner of conversation and the way that you ask questions in order to mirror their responses. This will immediately build rapport (see NLP in ‘equipment’).

8- Body language

80% of conversation is non-verbal. Face the person, keep an open posture, gesture gently towards them, touch their elbow in passing (suggests a sign of trust)- physically engage them in your conversation.

9- Don’t limit conversation to just 1 person

If in a group of guys and girls, don’t just limit conversation to 1 person as it may be considered disconcerting. Try to engage everyone if possible.

10- Always leave them wanting more.

Be the first to exit a conversation before it starts to dry up. Pay attention back to your male friends for example.


Give them your number, don’t ask for theirs! If, like me, you tend to get a little over excited in these circumstances, give them your number rather than asking for theirs. This will ‘put the ball in their court’, and will stop you from seeming too keen by messaging/calling them too early.

Don’t panic if you do something stupid, ride with it. Many girls find this kind of thing really cute, especially if you can honestly laugh it off.

Tease just a little but avoid issues such as how she looks. A bit of teasing makes for good fun and easy flirting. Always have a smile on your face when you do it however.

Never bitch! Sure it may be a good way to engage in common ground, but bitching will paint you in negative light. Always keep a positive slant to conversation.

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